RDB 8 Expectations

As I left Beaumont and headed to start my life in Austin, “ (my) dreams were as big as (my past) surroundings were small” (Hardy 651). So many doubted my abilities to even make it to where I was, yet I had always been determined to prove them wrong. UT had always been my Christminster. Just like Jude, I had longed to be part of its unique atmosphere from an early age, but was never quite sure if I would actually be able to take part in it. Coming from a small, Catholic school, it was very hard and competitive to be in the top ten percent and for four years, I was just outside of its cutoff point; however, my senior year, I finally broke through the boundary. Fortunately, my tale and Jude’s tale ended in different ways, with me being accepted into my “Oxford” and having the opportunity to live my dream.

At Monsignor Kelly Catholic High School, I had always been the top of my class and rarely had to open a book. I just eased right through everything without actually absorbing or retaining the material. (( My BEST friend rosemary and I at graduation))

I guess I thought UT would be the same. Although I had always seen “the University as ‘the tree of knowledge’ and ‘the paradise of the learned’”, I thought that I would fly right through all of my classes without encountering any problems and would have time to just hang out and socialize (Hardy’s Oxford: Jude the Obscure 687-88). Boy, was I wrong. Now, I realize that studying is a necessity. Without opening the book, I will not pass the course. Even if I study really hard for a test, chances are I will not always get an A. At first it was hard for me to accept, that I will not always be perfect or successful at everything that I do. It still is very challenging for me to understand that a B might be the best I can do or that I might not be the best or the brightest in my class; however, I have learned that if I try my hardest, the outcome is just as rewarding as being great at everything.

UT presented me with the chance to actually grow and learn things that were important to me. “I … really look(ed) forward to being challenged to think outside the box and encounter new things” (Danielle Oxford). “Basically (at my high school) we (had) always been taught to believe the same things and (had) not really (been) encouraged to explore and accept diversity (Danielle Oxford).” I always thought I knew exactly what I wanted before I came here. The plan was for me to graduate from high school, graduate from college, and become a doctor.
((Me at Med Camp))
Now, I am not so sure about that plan. It is strange that until one is on her own that she does not realize her “own” ideas, goals and beliefs have “been influenced by a great deal of unconscious material: parents’ preferences, childhood experiences, even movies” (Jung 170). Already, my experiences here and my classes have helped me really form my own beliefs. I have decided that instead of immediately becoming a doctor, I want to explore my options, travel the world, and come to understand even more about myself.

Before coming here, “I (was) really looking forward to meeting different types of people. I (had always) gone to (a) private school with the same people” and had really never been exposed to diversity (Danielle Oxford). At UT, I have encountered so many different types of people and have delved into their explanations about who they are to truly discover my own identity. The friends that I have made are all so different but all share the same characteristic of bringing out the best in me.

((Me and my friends dressed up as a surgeon, a scientist, the seventies, a strawberry, and a school girl.))

Instead of trying to fit in with others as I did at my high school, I can really be my goofy self around them and they appreciate me for who I am. I look forward to meeting more unique people like this and am sure that they will share some special part of them like my friends already have.
((Some of my friends an me before a rave.))

I still have so much more to accomplish and discover here at UT, but I can truly say that I can already see the difference that this magical place has made on my life. I have learned the importance of studying, forming ones own opinions, and discovering ones inner self. I have learned to interact with different types of people and appreciate them for being individuals. I have learned that life is too short to not follow your heart, discover your passions, and pursue them both. I know that a great adventure lies ahead of me here and I greet it with open arms. “How the world is made for each of us!” to explore, to thrive in, to leap into without looking back (Hardy 658).