RDB3

I grew up as a very optimistic child. I knew that everyone in the world got exactly what they wanted and was sure that no person had any problems beyond deciding what toppings they should put on top of their favorite ice cream flavor or what color bow they should wear the next day. I embraced Cobb’s idea of “the spontaneously creative imagination of childhood”, while convincing others for years that there really was a Santa Clause and that every toy in my room truly did come alive during the night (123). I was positive that fairytales did exist and that dreams really did come true if you wished upon a star. Living the very sheltered life I did, it was not until I was older that I began experiencing things that made me realize that not everyone was as fortunate as I was and that life could throw some very unexpected twists at people at very unusual times. Much like Christy, I cannot really point to a certain moment in time and see my innocence being lost; however; there are some very vivid incidents in my life that brought me out of my shell and let me see the world for what it really was.

When I was eight, my family and I had a wonderful family dinner at Carrabba’s Italian Grill. When we were finished, I dashed ahead of everyone into the parking lot to claim shotgun before my sisters. I ran up to my mom’s car and screamed. There was shattered glass everywhere. Some one had broken into my mother’s car and stolen her purse. It was strange that at the young age of eight, I had so much fear instilled in me that I had suddenly lost my faith in all of mankind. It was like my bubble of happiness and trust in all those around me had popped. I did not understand how someone could be so dishonest and cruel. I guess my ignorance to the ever-evolving world around me never allowed me to grasp the idea that crime actually existed. Although I had cheered on my favorite Disney cartoon characters such as Aladdin and Simba in defeating their foes, I had never realized that the same sorts of things were taking place in the world around me. This experience without a doubt awakened me from my slumber and showed me that there were other people out there living with different circumstances and values than my own and that Beaumont was not always a safe place.

Likewise, at the end of my sixth grade year, I decided I was going to tryout for cheerleader. As I was a top student and I always got everything that my heart desired, I was not worried about not making it; however, when the list was posted, my name was not on it. Although this may seem stupid, to a young girl like myself, it seemed like my world had crumbled beneath my feet. I was devastated. After crying for days, I made a choice from there on out that I would make the squad next year. “It was my goal” (Cobb 131). So, I enrolled myself in tumbling classes, and I worked harder than I have ever worked before my entire seventh grade year. Although it was probably one of the toughest times of my life, I was successful in the end and learned more than I ever thought possible. I went on to be a cheerleader for six years and served for Head Cheerleader three out of the six years. I walked away with the knowledge that I had to work for what I desired and that things would not just be handed to me in this life (which was rather disappointing). I also discovered a new determination, work ethic, confidence in myself and in others, and to never give up no matter the circumstance.

More Recently, several tragedies made me realize that life short and not to be taken for granted. My eighth grade year, a close family friend was shot and killed by an angry client. My ninth grade year, my father was diagnosed with prostate cancer. My tenth grade year, a younger friend committed suicide. My eleventh grade year, a horrible bus accident occurred killing two and injuring six members of local girls soccer team. During all of these incidents, I became very frustrated because I did not understand why these horrible things were happening to such good people. Growing up as a Christian, I had always believed that if one was good and went to Church then they would receive the ultimate blessing of living a full life. These occurrences went completely against everything that I had ever been taught. I did not want to deal with the pain and just wanted to be a child again, to emerge my “whole bodily self in the forms, colors, and motions, the sights and sounds of the external world” (Cobb 130). I never imagined such things happening to people I knew. Although they were horrible things, these events eventually made me appreciate my life and the lives of those around me even more.

Ellen Spiro said, “The most interesting part of a photograph is that which is not seen.” As I look back on these few snapshots of my life, I appreciate that there was a purpose and a lesson to be learned from all of them. While these occasions did make a huge impact of my innocence and my life, I like to believe that it was for the best. Nowadays, when things I am not expecting take place, I often at first desire to return to the days of childhood when things were simpler, but then I recognize that “what a child wanted to do most was to make a world in which to find a place to discover a self” (Cobb 125). I can still live in the moment and “experience the world in (a) highly evocative way” (Cobb 123). The time is now: to learn, to discover, to grow. I must go out into the world with open arms and embrace its mystery while I am still here to appreciate it.